How to Beat the Foreigner Stereotype

Most every foreigner gets this. After living in Korea for about 3 months, other foreigners tend get…annoying. Annoying to the point where you make every effort to avoid typical foreigner hangouts. Why do you do this? Because you don’t want to be the “stereotype.”

What is the stereotypical foreigner? They are the ones that drink an obnoxious amount of 소주 (soju), run around the streets shouting and hollering, and shoving their bottles of soju in other people’s faces. They are the ones that talk loudly on the subway and sit in the seats for the elderly. They are the ones that talk about their “Korean conquests.” They are the ones that the Korean media makes their racist news reporting on. They are the ones that refuse to adapt to the culture that they have decided to live in.

For many foreigners, our biggest complaint about other foreigners is their drunken antics. Yes, Korea is a heavy drinking culture, yet the difference between a Korean getting drunk to a stereotypical foreigner getting drunk is quite large.

Koreans drink. Good God, do Koreans drink. Yet while they drink such a staggering amount of alcohol, they tend to be relatively civilized when it comes to getting drunk. Here’s what I mean. Koreans tend to be much quieter, less rambunctious, compared to the stereotypical foreigner. For Koreans, drinking is as much of a way of getting drunk as it is a way of creating closer bonds with friends and coworkers. I mentioned in a previous post that when Koreans drink, what they say when they are drunk is taken as truth. Thusly, they tend to be much more reserved when drinking compared to their western counterparts.

Stereotypical foreigners drink. Good God, do they drink. But I should say here, stereotypical foreigners drink, just like the stereotype is that all Koreans drink an insane amount of soju. Yet when a stereotypical foreigner (read, not all foreigners) drinks, as I mentioned above, his/her actions become intolerable. The foreigner suddenly turns into this loud, obnoxious beast that jumps around and beats his chest.

Skip to 3:25 to see what I mean by annoying foreigners. And I know, Eat Your Kimchi, it's like committing sacrilege, but this video really pisses me off.

I hate this video. This video depicts what so many foreigners hate about other foreigners; the running around, the shoving soju in people’s faces, and just being a general asshole. But here’s the thing, you can avoid being these people!

Let’s play with a scenario. You have moved to Korea for the first time. You have what I call the golden pass. For 2 months, you’re going to be excited with Korea with its sights and sounds, and yes, drinking culture. More often than not, you will be the stereotype. In my belief though, you need to be the stereotype for a bit so that you can learn the culture—so that you can learn what and what not to do. After 2 months, your views on foreigners will start to change. Bingeing on soju becomes less fun (those hangovers are becoming a real bitch), you notice how loud the subway is when a group of foreigners get on, and all of a sudden, you make a terrifying transformation—you become a Korean. At 3 months, the thought of a large group of foreigners in one place almost revolts you. This is the transformation that most, but not all, foreigners make.

So how do you keep from being the stereotype? Drink, but monitor yourself as you drink. Try not to get wild. Don’t run around shouting and telling Koreans to take shots with you. It’s rude. When you get drunk, DO NOT say 안녕하세요 (Annyeonghaseyo, “Hello”), to every Korean on the street. It’s rude. Try to be quite and respectful to the people on the street around you. Are you drinking in a Hof? Go ahead and play games and be loud. That’s what Hofs are there for. Are you drinking in a bar or outside of a convenience store? Be quieter because a bar is not a place for games and a convenience store is in public.

When it comes to public transportation, remember, you’re in public and you need to speak quietly (think a whisper) or not speak at all. Do not sit in the elderly seats. They’re reserved and open for a reason. If you see an elderly person get on the bus/train, please give up your seat for them; 1) it’s the polite thing to do and 2) you make the rest of us foreigners look good. Also, if there’s a child, please give up your seat for them as well.

아줌마 (Ajjumma, “Middle-aged woman/auntie”) rant: If it’s an ajjumma, you don’t need to up your seat. Every foreigner and Korean deals with the bitchy, evil ajjumma. We all hate them. My advice is just to pretend you don’t see them or understand what they’re saying. (Quick rant as to why I will never give up my seat to an ajjumma again. I was on the subway and a woman came on with her small child. I gestured to the woman to come over so that I could give up my seat to the little girl. As the mother walked over, and I started to stand up so the little girl could take my seat, an ajjumma snaked her way in and stole the seat from the 4-year-old!!! A 4-YEAR-OLD!!!!!! They have no shame!!!!! I hate-glared the bitch for the rest of the ride. Thankfully someone else gave up their seat for the little girl, but good Lord was I pissed at that ajjumma. I have many other horrible ajjumma stories (as do all foreigners and Koreans alike), but this one is the most poignant. Remember, ajjummas are not elderly and you are not required to give up your seat for them.)

To sum it up, the best way to avoid being a stereotypical foreigner is by not acting like a jackass. Don’t be rude or disrespectful to people. Be quiet in public places. Be polite when you drink. These are easy things to do, and if you do them, Korea can become a better place for all foreigners. 

Itaewon Freedom

I will start off this post by stating my utter disdain for 이태원 (Itaewon), or the foreigner’s district. Known as “Itaewon Freedom,” Itaewon is the old red light district (and still unoffically operates as one) of Seoul, and is a haven for foreigners.
 

 Itaewon Entrance

Many come to Itaewon for the eclectic food, which ranges from American to Australian to Thai, or for clothes since many foreigners cannot fit into small Korean sizes. Many others come for the nightlife at the clubs and the many foreign bars. Others though, come for the gay nightlife in Itaewon, one of the few havens for gays, lesbians, and transgender in Korea.

Itaewon though, can be a dangerous place. As mentioned earlier, it is a red light district (many natives try to claim that it is the former red light district, but no one can deny the throngs of prostitutes that come into the bars at night looking for their next customer). It is one of the few places in Korea where it is not safe for a woman to walk alone at night. Often times, there are people passed out on the streets, aggressive thugs harassing people, as well as an army of drunken foreigners who are not as good at controlling their tempers when inebriated as Koreans are.

A very common sight

While those are the negatives, Itaewon does offer positives. It was the one place in Korea that I could find a hair salon that didn’t butcher my hair (Green Turtle Salon: **EDIT** Green Turtle Hair salon has moved, as well as their amazing hair stylist. His new salon is Salon de Michel, and his salon is located near the main entrance of Itaewon. Please support this awesome hair stylist!), and it offers a little slice of home for many with its collection of foreign food restaurants. It is also one of the few places in Korea where almost everyone speaks English. When you become deprived of your native tongue for a long period of time, you have no idea how refreshing this can be. Itaewon also offers clothes for foreigners, albeit extremely overpriced and with shopkeepers who are not willing to haggle.

Food is the one great positive about Itaewon. The restaurant alley is filled with restaurants that have food from all over the world. From Mexican, to Brazilian, to French, and Japanese, you can find just about any country's food in Itaewon. Be warned though, the food,while mostly very tasty, on average costs a lot more. Expect to pay 15,000-20,000 won per meal on average. 

 

For those who belong to the LGBT community though, it can be the one place where they can feel truly welcome in Korea, which is notoriously homophobic. The so-called “Homo Hill” offers a string of bars and nightclubs for the gay and transgender community (most lesbian bars however are located in Hongdae). It is also the location of Seoul's Gay Pride Parade.

Homo Hill

While many hate Itaewon, myself included, many have an equal amount love it. For foreigners, it should be a place that should be checked out at least once. For some, it will leave a bad taste in their mouth, for others, it will become a second home. 

Drinking Customs

In connection with my last post, drinking in Korea is an integral part of its culture. Drinking though, comes with its own set of customs, and knowing these customs is crucial.

           

First comes accepting a drink. You NEVER pour your own drink. It’s rude and it comes with the saying, “If you pour your own drink, you will be alone for 20 years.” Your senior will generally pour your drink if you are drinking with work colleagues, or by your business partner in a business meeting. When accepting the drink, you want to hold your glass with your right hand, and then, you put your left hand under the glass, put your left hand under your elbow, or accept with both hands. You put your left hand under the glass if the person is very important, i.e. your boss, and you put it under your elbow if it is someone closer, i.e. a friend, and with both hands for accepting a shot of soju. NEVER ACCEPT A DRINK WITH ONE HAND, even when you are with friends.

Accepting a shot of soju with both hands

This goes the same for pouring the drink. Once your drink has been poured, you are expected to the pour a drink for the person who poured yours. Always do this with both hands with the right hand pouring and the left hand under the bottle.

Notice how both of his hands are on the bottle. 

When it comes to actual drinking, there are even more rules, but these rules usually apply to when it is a more formal setting of drinking such as drinking with colleagues or business partners. When drinking from your glass, turn your head to the side, facing away from the senior member of the group (this person is usually your boss, a senior member who is hard to approach, or someone who is older than you by ten years, not a friend or close colleague), cover the drink with your hand, and then drink. This is because it is rude for the senior of the group seeing you drink alcohol.

Now these rules seem so strict, but try to follow them. If you don’t get it precisely, do not worry. Koreans will be delighted with the fact that you are trying and forgive the mistakes.

The Importance of Drinking

Drinking is to Korea as Texas is to steak. It is so essential in fact, that knowing how to hold one’s liquor is essential in advancing in the business world. For someone like me, who never drank before coming to Korea, it was a bit of a challenge to go out every weekend and be expected to get drunker than an alcoholic at a music festival. But I soon came to realize the importance of drinking in Korea and the incredibly important customs that come along with it.

Drinking, in Korean culture, is a way to form friendships and business alliances. Korea is a Confucian society, and this leads to it having a very rigid social structure as well as customs. This leads to a high level of conformity and almost complete lack of individuality. Drinking, for Koreans, became a way to escape the social norms. In Korea, when you drink, you are becoming yourself. In the West, there is forgiveness for things said while drunk, because we believe that you are a different person while drunk. This just the opposite in Korea. There, you are held highly accountable for your drinking actions, as those are the actions of your true self.

If you’re someone who does not drink, I have bad news for you, you’re going to have to learn. You’ll soon find though, that drinking with Koreans is an experience in and of itself. Quite honestly, it’s a blast. As I mentioned earlier, I never drank before coming to Korea, and since coming back, I no longer drink in America—in most part because drinking in America is no fun compared to Korea. If you’re still uncomfortable with drinking, then here’s a trick of the trade: if you’re drinking 소주 (soju, or Korean vodka), then simply and DISCREETLY poor your soju into a glass of water (or throw it behind you if there's no water). Just don’t get caught or you will insult everyone, especially the one who is pouring your drinks and paying the bill.

In my next post, I will go more into the customs of drinking. Until then 원쎳 (one shot)!