Why did I come to Korea?

I got asked this question last night. For starters, this question actually peeved me. Not the question itself, but the conversation that led up to the question.

I was at a dinner, welcoming incoming students to Korea University, where I started asking the age old question, “Why did you come to Korea?” Some replied it’s because they have family here, some said just to see, but the overwhelming majority said “K-pop”. There was no other reason for them to be in Korea. The sole reason they came was for the cookie cutter K-pop world.

The restaurant we went to happened to have music videos playing in the background. Anytime a K-pop band appeared on the screen, the large table of 20 went silent to intently stare at the screen filled with gorgeous boys or girls, occasionally letting out screams when their favorite idol did “idol things”. This left the remaining few of us in awkward silence while we watched these girls salivate over a TV screen.

When the question came back to me, asking why I came to Korea, they first asked if I was part Korean. I am not. Then they asked if I liked K-pop. I do not. Then they all looked at me perplexed. “Then why did you come to Korea?”

The question, when asked in such a way completely dumbfounded me. Why do people like to go to France, or Spain, or Australia? Are they going simply because they are obsessed with the pop culture there? What reason is there to go to another country other than for pop culture or family?

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before simply replying, “Just because.” I did come to Korea “just because.” When looking to study abroad, Korea wasn’t even on my map. I knew of North Korea, I knew my grandfather fought in the Korean War, and I butchered the pronunciation of Seoul. However, when asking about going to a different country, the man at the study abroad booth said, “Hey, what about Korea instead?” He then proceeded to tell the story of how he wound up in Korea. He didn’t choose it, as a matter of fact, he wanted to go to China, but he didn’t get accepted so it was suggested to him that he go to Korea instead. So he did. And he loved it. The story he told me was a story filled with love and passion. I thought to myself, maybe I can love Korea, too.

When the time came for me to actually study abroad, Korea was on my list, but it was not my first choice. Rather, I wanted to go to Japan.  However, in a twist of fate, I couldn’t go to Japan and had to “settle” for Korea. I’m not going to lie; I wasn’t excited about this at first. I really, truly wanted to go to Japan. I had been fascinated with Japan ever since I was a little kid, from the history to the culture to the fashion. I wanted to experience Japanese culture, not Korean.

Something my mother taught me was to always look on the bright side. Even if a situation is grim, there is one shimmer of light. So I went to Korea, knowing nothing about the language and culture, I made the decision that I must look on the bright side, and since I loved Japanese history and culture so much, why not give that same chance to Korea?

I have never regretted giving Korea that chance.

I didn’t come here for family or K-pop, I came here for the same reasons so many students study abroad every year—I want to experience and learn a different culture, and I have loved every minute of doing so. 

Drinking Customs

In connection with my last post, drinking in Korea is an integral part of its culture. Drinking though, comes with its own set of customs, and knowing these customs is crucial.

           

First comes accepting a drink. You NEVER pour your own drink. It’s rude and it comes with the saying, “If you pour your own drink, you will be alone for 20 years.” Your senior will generally pour your drink if you are drinking with work colleagues, or by your business partner in a business meeting. When accepting the drink, you want to hold your glass with your right hand, and then, you put your left hand under the glass, put your left hand under your elbow, or accept with both hands. You put your left hand under the glass if the person is very important, i.e. your boss, and you put it under your elbow if it is someone closer, i.e. a friend, and with both hands for accepting a shot of soju. NEVER ACCEPT A DRINK WITH ONE HAND, even when you are with friends.

Accepting a shot of soju with both hands

This goes the same for pouring the drink. Once your drink has been poured, you are expected to the pour a drink for the person who poured yours. Always do this with both hands with the right hand pouring and the left hand under the bottle.

Notice how both of his hands are on the bottle. 

When it comes to actual drinking, there are even more rules, but these rules usually apply to when it is a more formal setting of drinking such as drinking with colleagues or business partners. When drinking from your glass, turn your head to the side, facing away from the senior member of the group (this person is usually your boss, a senior member who is hard to approach, or someone who is older than you by ten years, not a friend or close colleague), cover the drink with your hand, and then drink. This is because it is rude for the senior of the group seeing you drink alcohol.

Now these rules seem so strict, but try to follow them. If you don’t get it precisely, do not worry. Koreans will be delighted with the fact that you are trying and forgive the mistakes.