The Last Day

I didn’t really think about. With projects and finals crushing down on me, I didn’t even have time to think about. Sleepless nights, caffeine overload, a burst eye vessel from too much studying—so many things to make you go numb to what you’re supposed to be feeling.

I raised my head from my desk as my 5 a.m. alarm went off, warning me that I was stupid and fell asleep while studying. Groggily, I rubbed my eyes, and stretched, cramming for the last few precious hours I had before my last final. As I slipped on fresh clothes and packed up my bag, I looked at my table and saw my camera. In an instant, emotion ran to the back of my throat—today was my last day at Korea University.

I began cursing myself, angry that I let myself get so overwhelmed with school that I didn’t let myself enjoy the last few precious moments that I had at this wonderful place. Before running out the door, I quickly snatched my camera; I don’t know why, the day was grey and I would be meeting no one since they were just like me, too absorbed in their books.

Rushing to the bus, I ran through cold air, trying not to think about my final, and least of all, my time coming to a close. When I arrived at the school, I sat in the business lounge, like I had so many times before. Seated in a plush red chair, I looked around at the astounding room. Glass reaching the ceiling three stories high, couches and tables neatly aligned for comfort and efficiency, students leaning over papers, desperately cramming in the final minutes before their test. I breathed deeply. Would this be my last breath here?

When the final ended, I walked out of class, thinking of going straight to my bus stop so that I could go home and get some much needed sleep, but I paused as I took out my gloves. I wanted to stay here, just for a little bit longer. So I shoved my gloves back into my bag and began to walk down Korea University’s famous underground passage. With each step I took, I inhaled deeply and memorized every detail that I could.

Will I remember how my shoes clack on marble floors? Will I remember the smell of books from the libraries that line the hall? Will I remember the intricate patterns on the floor that I have ignored so many times before? Will I forget the frustration every time someone suddenly stops in front of me? As I reached the end of the hall, I looked back at the crowd of students behind me, desperately trying to get into a study lounge. Will this be the last time I see it?

I left the warmth of the underground to the harsh cold outside, but suddenly, it didn’t feel cold. I felt so warm. I looked around me as I watched students run to their final and couples meander down the street. I thought of the times when these people who I barely knew helped me in my times of need, people who barely knew me who would smile and talk to me when they saw I was alone, people who filled the university with the love and warmth that Korea is famous for.

As I walked around every last inch of campus, I remembered all the friends who I had met over the last year and a half. Who would I remember them 10 years from now? Who would remember me? Will I ever forget this place that I have called my home for so long?

I sat down at the bench near the main gate, looking at the gorgeous architecture that Korea University possessed, and began to be filled with bittersweet thoughts. My time here was been a blessing. The people I have met, the places I have been, I do not have the words to describe how wonderful they are. My life here has been nothing short of amazing, and I find myself shocked with how comfortable I am calling this place home. But…

Will I ever come back?