Injustice Against Foreign Women

This story is a little dated, but the what it tells is still the same today--there is little justice for foreign women who are assaulted here in Korea.

http://rokdrop.com/2006/03/15/sexual-assualts-in-korea/

I have several foreign friends who have been assaulted during my time here in Korea, and the answer from the police is always the same--no help, only condescending responses. Even those who work in the Women Clinics have been prejudiced against my friends, often calling the assaults against them their fault.

Last year, I was attacked in a stairwell by a drunk man. I was lucky enough to have a friend close by who heard my shouts and was able to pull the man off of me. The establishment that we were at called the police to arrest the man, and when they came, they took my friend's name and number as well as mine. Neither of us ever heard back from the police.

Last week, I went dancing in a popular club area here in Seoul. My friend and I danced until the club was closed, and while we waited outside for her friend to come and pick us up, we had men from the club come up to us and proposition us to go to a motel. It got to the point when they were grabbing and groping at me while I was yelling in Korean telling them to stop, let go of me, and stop touching me. When one of them forcefully grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me away with him, I went to my last resort and pushed against him with all my might, and told him in Korean to "@#$% off!" (Cussing in Korean is often a very effective way to make a Korean man go away). I managed to free myself from his grasp and ran away as fast as I could. I ended up running a little over a mile away before feeling sure enough and safe enough to stop. So when all other things fail, run, just run away as fast as you can.

Things like this should serve as a caution to all foreign women living here in Korea. Be careful. There are many Korean men who will invite you to go to a restaurant to drink or Noraebang (Karaoke) with them, and to bluntly honest, their motives are purely sex. So decline these invitations. Be aware of how much you are drinking (as well as what you are drinking because the spiking of drinks is becoming more commonplace in Korea now) as well as your surroundings.

If worst comes to worst, and you are assaulted, the US consulate here in Korea has provided some information on what to do, and where to get help.

http://www.asktheconsul.org/victims_crime_korea.pdf

To Grow a Rock

There is a saying in Asia, “Watch the rock grow.” Knowing this saying is integral to understanding the culture. For many westerners, the saying may be confusing because, after all, a rock does not grow.

Watching a rock grow means learning patience, as well as finding peace. You will learn patience by watching something that will not change, and find peace by learning patience.

There are many frustrations when it comes to moving to another country. Firstly, you are displacing yourself from something that you have known your entire life. Secondly, many of the cultures around the world are different from the one that you are used to. This usually leads to culture shock.

Culture shock comes in many different forms and affects every person differently. As much as I try to say that I am immune to culture shock, I am not. For example, I often times find myself frustrated in certain situations, a common symptom of culture shock.

Korean culture can come as a great shock to many westerners. Everything is done very last minute, and rarely is anything ever set in stone. Plans are made the day before or day of, and deadlines of contracts are almost never met. For instance, as I mentioned earlier in this blog, I was informed 1 week before I came to Korea that I had nowhere to live. In the west, this delay of notification would be unacceptable, but in Korea, it’s the norm, there is nothing wrong with informing someone of something last minute, even if it’s as important as telling someone that they have nowhere to live.

Other frustrations come from the general lack of organization. I had great difficulty registering for classes because everything was full and they weren’t letting any exchange students (who are the last to register) into any full classes like they previously had. I realized that when I got upset over this, that things change—nothing will every stay the same.

I fully realized that when I had to go to the immigration office to apply for my alien registration card. Having been through the process once before, I made sure that I had all the proper forms with me, the exact same forms that I had brought with me the time before. After waiting in line for 2 ½ hours, I approached the desk only for the receptionist to tell me that one of my forms was wrong and that for a D-2 visa (student visa), a Certificate of Admission was no longer the proper form, and I now had to have a Certificate of Enrollment. “Sorry,” she said. “Just come back another time.” This meant that I would have to come back, miss my classes again, and wait in yet another long line. I wanted to cry, but one must learn patience to accept things as they are.

If something doesn’t happen in just the way you want it to, like you don’t get the classes that you want, or you’re frustrated that you have to walk everywhere. Stop. Take a moment. Find a rock and watch it grow.

Know that nothing will go as expected. Be prepared for what will or will not happen. Don’t get frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Learn to be fluid. Like a plant in a stream—bend with the current of the water.