To Grow a Rock

There is a saying in Asia, “Watch the rock grow.” Knowing this saying is integral to understanding the culture. For many westerners, the saying may be confusing because, after all, a rock does not grow.

Watching a rock grow means learning patience, as well as finding peace. You will learn patience by watching something that will not change, and find peace by learning patience.

There are many frustrations when it comes to moving to another country. Firstly, you are displacing yourself from something that you have known your entire life. Secondly, many of the cultures around the world are different from the one that you are used to. This usually leads to culture shock.

Culture shock comes in many different forms and affects every person differently. As much as I try to say that I am immune to culture shock, I am not. For example, I often times find myself frustrated in certain situations, a common symptom of culture shock.

Korean culture can come as a great shock to many westerners. Everything is done very last minute, and rarely is anything ever set in stone. Plans are made the day before or day of, and deadlines of contracts are almost never met. For instance, as I mentioned earlier in this blog, I was informed 1 week before I came to Korea that I had nowhere to live. In the west, this delay of notification would be unacceptable, but in Korea, it’s the norm, there is nothing wrong with informing someone of something last minute, even if it’s as important as telling someone that they have nowhere to live.

Other frustrations come from the general lack of organization. I had great difficulty registering for classes because everything was full and they weren’t letting any exchange students (who are the last to register) into any full classes like they previously had. I realized that when I got upset over this, that things change—nothing will every stay the same.

I fully realized that when I had to go to the immigration office to apply for my alien registration card. Having been through the process once before, I made sure that I had all the proper forms with me, the exact same forms that I had brought with me the time before. After waiting in line for 2 ½ hours, I approached the desk only for the receptionist to tell me that one of my forms was wrong and that for a D-2 visa (student visa), a Certificate of Admission was no longer the proper form, and I now had to have a Certificate of Enrollment. “Sorry,” she said. “Just come back another time.” This meant that I would have to come back, miss my classes again, and wait in yet another long line. I wanted to cry, but one must learn patience to accept things as they are.

If something doesn’t happen in just the way you want it to, like you don’t get the classes that you want, or you’re frustrated that you have to walk everywhere. Stop. Take a moment. Find a rock and watch it grow.

Know that nothing will go as expected. Be prepared for what will or will not happen. Don’t get frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Learn to be fluid. Like a plant in a stream—bend with the current of the water.

Safety Tips

Having been almost kidnapped once in Thailand, I take safety very seriously. While Korea may be one of the safest countries in the world, there are some precautions that should be taken.

Some drunken Korean men are not the most courteous and can even sometimes be dangerous. For example, one night I was at a restaurant with some friends. At this particular restaurant, the restroom was not inside, but rather one had to go outside of the restaurant to use it. I made the bad decision of going to the restroom by myself. On my way there, a drunk Korean man grabbed me and tried to attack me. At the top of my lungs I shouted “하지마!”, “HAJIMA!” or “STOP!”. My shouting caught the attention of one of my male friends who came out to stop the man. So girls, never go anywhere by yourself, even if it’s just going to the bathroom. This is the same for going home.

If you are a girl and insist on going home by yourself at night (particularly if you are intoxicated), only take the subway, which is one of the safest ways to get home. Last train is at about 12:30 a.m. Monday-Thursday and 11:30 p.m.-12:00 a.m. Friday-Sunday. If you are a girl, try not to take a taxi alone at night, especially if you are intoxicated. A Taxi cab driver assaulting a woman is not a common event, but it does happen with reports coming out about it 2-3 times a year. At night, always take a cab in a group, even if alcohol has not been involved in the evening.

Korea is now becoming more of an international country, with many foreigners now living there. Most Koreans are very accepting or excited for foreign residents, but there are Korean nationalists. Typically, a nationalist is someone who is older, but it is not unheard of for a young person to think that Korea should only be for Koreans. When confronted by one of these purists, keep your calm, and simply walk away from the situation. Don’t let it lead to a confrontation. Most importantly, if they start hitting you, don’t hit back. When and if the incident is reported to the police, the foreigner runs the risk of being deported because they fought with a Korean. Keep your calm if the person insults you by calling you a “F---ing foreigner” or “round eye”; these events happen, just take them in stride.

It is important to use common sense. When a situation feels wrong, get out of it, your instinct is usually right. Don’t take drinks from strangers, don’t go to 노래방, ‘Noraebang’ (Karaoke) with men you don’t know, and never go alone anywhere, especially if you are a woman.

Korea is one of the safest countries in the world, so something bad happening is low, but always be prepared. Never take your safety for granted.